I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
