He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
