Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
