Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
