he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
