3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
