Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
