So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
