How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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