lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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