Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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