they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Actions speak louder than pants.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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