that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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