So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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