i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
two words: eviction party
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
