omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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