I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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