Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
