He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I love you. Go after that dick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
