finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This toilet bowl is my home.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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