Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
