Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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