did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
