It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
