I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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