scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
