Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
