After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
