There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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