How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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