and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
