he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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