whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
