your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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