its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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