yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
