never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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