They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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