Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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