I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
