Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
