am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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