Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
