I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
