you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So much rum. So many feels.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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