his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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