Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
