the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
