just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
