We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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