She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
