When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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