My room smells like vodka and shame
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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